Last night, my brother-in-law, Mason, got married. It was a grand event. I got to perform/officiate the wedding ceremony. While I’ve done a handful of weddings in my “pastoral” career so far, this one was special because it was family. I can’t tell you how fun it was to have the “best seat in the house”!
Below, I’ve posted the “Words of Wisdom” that I shared with them:
I don’t think I realized it until it was too late. But we are a dancing family. If any of you have been to the Lake with the Mathis’ and been around when Aunt Mary cranks up the music, you know what I mean. I remember thinking at some point, “Woah, what have I got myself into!” You see, I’m a shy southern boy from Oklahoma, so this was a little out of my comfort zone.
And as bad of a dancer as I am, I’ve come to enjoy it. Like their mother, both of my girls Sari (who’s 3) and Macie (who’s 1), love to dance. All it takes is to cue up “Single Ladies” or some Taylor Swift song on the iPod and both the girls start moving and jumping around, and dancing! Not even a shy southern boy can resist it when one of them reaches up for my hands to spin them around or jump with them.
Dancing. My wife and I compare our marriage to dancing.
Dancing works great … just you and the one you love… until someone, or something, cuts in.
We all start off with great intentions about what we want marriage and this unique relationship to look like and how we want it to operate. We sometimes think that nothing is going to cut in on this wonderful thing we have right now. And while I don’t want to take away from the moment, the wisdom I am sure almost every married couple in the room would offer is: there will definitely be things that will cut in on your dance, your marriage. It’s part of life. There will be cut-ins. The solution will be: how will you as a couple dancing through life together, how will you respond to these intentional and unintentional interruptions. Like when one has to work a lot. Or when family obligations or expectations collide. What will the dance between the two of you look like as tensions enter in?
Don’t forget this day. Don’t forget the vows you will speak here tonight. Don’t forget the commitment you made right here at this spot, on this particular day, your 0 anniversary. Don’t forget why you started dancing with each other in the first place.
Keep this partnership, keep this marriage sacred, and watch carefully what you allow to “cut” in and how you respond to it.
Dancing works great… just you and the one you love… until the song changes.
Dancing is funny to me because the song usually lasts give or take 4 minutes, then just when I’ve started to get the moves down, the song changes. In our lives the music changes often doesn’t it? Moods, expectations of each other, babies, jobs, kids, teenagers, hormones, money (or lack thereof), age, health. Again, while we know that songs will change, life circumstances will change, we all grow up and mature, how are you as a newly minted dancing couple in this marriage, going to handle, together, these various changes? Knowing that it is a song change really helps. Knowing when moods shift is a helpful thing. Knowing each other’s personality quirks is beneficial. But there will be unexpected things that will happen in life that you did not, nor could not, anticipate.
So, make sure that you are both watchful, attentive, and intentional when the music of your lives change. Talk to each other. Communicate. It really helps.
Dancing works great… just you and the one you love… because of your deep love and respect and affection for each other.
I’ve been around the two of you a bit and I love what I see. I love seeing the sparkle in your eyes when you look at each other. I love seeing how you care for each other. I love seeing how you play and laugh together.
Enjoy the dancing, because it is good! I know I’ve thoroughly enjoyed dancing with Amanda, and I know that you, Mason and Haley, will enjoy this intriguing dance of marriage together because it is good.
God made us to hunger and thirst for relationships, particularly a desire for relationship with Him as well as a desire for a dancing partner in life.
So dance well!